Two and a half men

[chameleon_girl]

Berta: So what broke you two love birds up?
Charlie: He crossed a line.
Berta: Must've been a big one.
Charlie: Very big.
Berta: Was it money?
Charlie: Worse.
Berta: A woman?
Charlie: Worse.
Berta: What's worse than money and women?
Charlie: He bought an ugly bowl and put it on the front table.
Berta: No.
Charlie: Then, when I told him to get rid of it, he filled it with candy and put it on the coffee table.
Berta: Dear god. What kind of candy?
Charlie: Butterscotch.
Berta: Mmm. I mean, the son of bitch.
Charlie: Are you making fun of me?
Berta: I'm trying.
Charlie: So, what? You think I should just let him... put a candy dish wherever he wants?
Berta: No, you're right. He obviously had to go. He's an ungrateful parasite who overstepped his boundaries.
Charlie: Exactly.
Berta: While, you, on the other hand, are a completely reasonable man with no control issues whatsoever.
Charlie: I don't pay you to mock me.
Berta: Charlie, you'd have to pay me not to!